perfum
Competition CLOSED
Thanks to all who participated!
Winners:
<news:[The Elftown Limerick Competition@wiki] Winners!>
The Slug King
Barry was a slug most exaltedperfumed
But very quickly his reign was halted
They found him on the ground
A slimy mound
Barry, it seemed, had been a-salted
Written by [Mortified Penguin] | The Life of a Muffin
Roasting, rising and ready to arrive,
The muffin did smile in its warm baking hive.
Till one day a child,
Oh so rabid and wild,
Devoured, quite happily, the poor thing alive.
Written by [Rice] |
Reminder 1: Number your entries, and separate them with the <hr> tag.
Reminder 2: This is a contest for limericks. Not for poems vaguely resembling limericks.
1.
Untitled
Never give a panda a hug
Even though they're cute as a bug
You mean them no harm
But you'll still lose an arm
And it'll do it, with little more then a shrug.
Written by [
Lord Josmar]
2.
my trip out
I slipped on a street called memory lane
Hell, I was in a lot of pain
I had to go to A&E
For people who are as clumsy as me
And then I had to walk back in the rain
Written by [
kians mummy]
3.
Pitfalls of Diversity
From PMs to wooing by sitar
The romance of Elftown gets bizarre
But when a young, Halfling schmuck
Can boast the feet of a Duck
The loving has really gone too far
Written by [
Triola]
4.
Let's Try This Again
With a little prose
A new phoenix rose
From the ash, with brilliant flame
A new bird comes to play the game
This time, though, we'll be on the nose
Written by [
Mortified Penguin]
5.
The Slug King
Barry was a slug most exalted
But very quickly his reign was halted
They found him on the ground
A slimy mound
Barry, it seemed, had been a-salted
Written by [
Mortified Penguin]
6.
Trouble
Trouble it seems,
Follows whom it deems,
Suitable for its games,
Does it ruin, kill, or maim,
One never knows what it dreams.
Written by [
Ravendust]
7.
Tidings
Down the mess hall rang a shout: "Ohoy!"
The midwife ran in and wept for joy.
'T was all over the news
the captain's best muse
gave birth to a healthy alien boy.
Written by [
Linderel]
8.
Dinner
Beyond the gate he stares at thee
Through eyeless sockets; how can he see?
Flesh and yellow colored tones
The Zombie man stands and moans
Merely wishing he could dine for free!
Written by [
Alexi Ice]
9.
Love
We went on a date,
I thought it was fate!
Unfortunately for you,
Now we are through
And you are not my mate!
Written by [
Alexi Ice]
10.
Poughkeepsie (Poh-kip-see)
There once was a man from Poughkeepsie
Who always showed up to work tipsy.
We beat down his ass
and soaked him in gas
Then burned him until he was crispy.
Written by [
NOOOPE]
11.
Writing Poetry is Hard!
A writer kept eyeing the clock,
Afflicted with bad writer’s block.
As the minutes ticked by,
He let loose a sigh,
Then decided to go for a walk.
Written by [
Priscilla Primkin]
12.
Colour me Antagonistically
The further I ran the further it came,
Calling, screaming and cursing my name,
When at last I did tumble,
Yet my heart did not stumble,
For I was the villain in this game.
Written by [
Rice]
13.
Smooth Moves
I met a cute girl, her guitar on her shoulder,
I struck up some talk and then soon enough told her:
"I'd sure fiddle your green
If you know what I mean,"
But she, see, could not have been colder.
Written by [
Gastogh]
14.
Usually I Find Possums
There once was a man in my roof,
Ev’ry night he would tap on his tooth,
Then one night at seven,
No sound – it was heaven,
But now I must smell all the proof.
Written by [
Karithina]
15.
Woes of Browsing the Interwebs
There once was a man from Nantucket,
He found "Yo dawg" and Lolrus and Bukkit,
The lolcats were there
In Chuck Norris’ hair,
And he followed steps 1, 2, ?, PROFIT!
Written by [
Avaz]
16.
Here Boy
T'was the guards from E'Town with a halo
Full of GOD and Righteousness and their Ego
They clutched at their hearts
You can't have genitals in art
And left to get off to Phaedo
Written by [
Madhalf Heatlump]
17.
Ripe for Censorship
To raise the ire or to remain placid
To be open and calm or spew acid
A crew member that's stern
Goes down on my concerns
Much lower than the member that's flaccid
Written by [
Madhalf Heatlump]
18.
The Life of a Muffin
Roasting, rising and ready to arrive,
The muffin did smile in its warm baking hive.
Till one day a child,
Oh so rabid and wild,
Devoured, quite happily, the poor thing alive.
Written by [
Rice]
19.
Not a Rooster
I have this neat pet. It's a sock.
It's not quite as cool as a rock.
But it has these big eyes,
It won't tell me lies,
And can even go out for a walk.
Written by [
Calico Tiger]
20.
Meep
Meep was the cock of the walk.
So fine, he was loved by the flock.
His comb was his pride.
He'd strut and he'd stride.
Till I bashed his head in with a rock.
Written by [
Calico Tiger]
21.
No Title
There once was a woman who mused
About why everyone was confused
She ranted ‘til red
Then stood on her head
And proceeded to speak with her shoes.
Written by [
Dark Side of the Moon]
22.
War. What is it good for?
An old soldier sat by the door
Remembering the horrors of war;
The medals on his chest
Could not lay to rest
Those memories of carnage and gore.
Written by [
Priscilla Primkin]
23.
A Tasty Limerick
I spoke with a poet named Tania,
Who said she was the best in the genre.
Well she was a phony.
I knew when she told me
That lasagna rhymed with bologna.
Written by [
Aradon Templar]
24.
Hobbits Can Be Short Sometimes
There was an elf town with elf dudes and elf chicks.
Everyone was at peace, there were seldom conflicts.
They would braid their long hair
Without even a care,
But from the halfling's point of view, he could only see dicks.
Written by [
Mortified Penguin]
25.
Utensil
There once was a man from New York,
Who carried with him an old fork,
He tried to eat a bean,
But his fork was unclean,
So everyone called him a dork.
Written by [
Thunder Cid]
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